So Long Ridiculously Cheap Frozen Pizza. I Hardly Knew You.

Watch out Portland, I might get myself a food cart and charge your ass $8 for one of these beauties.
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Not long ago, my local Fred Meyer stopped carrying Jeno’s frozen pizzas.

Not long before that, I had discovered Jeno’s frozen pizzas. I’ve never found a frozen pizza that was worth two shits. But at 99 cents on sale (from $1.10) what did I have to lose? I didn’t feel like cooking that night and I wanted pizza.

It was easily the best frozen pizza I’ve ever had. The crust was magically crispy and chewy. They tasted like pizza, plus that weird extra mysterious delicious/disgusting flavor only found in truly industrial food. Best of all, at 7 ounces, 490 calories they were the right size for a single meal. They were the perfect, effortless delivery system for fresh vegetables – in my case baby bell peppers and arugula.

It was a whirlwind romance that lasted just two months … and then they were gone.

But not before I cleaned out the last 26 boxes from the Fred Meyer freezer section at the closeout price of 88 cents each. (I shudder to think of the corners cut to get to that price.)

Step 1. Pull your frozen pizza out of the freezer.
Step 1. Pull your frozen pizza out of the freezer. Preheat oven to 500 degrees
OK, this sucker needs a little help.
OK, this sucker needs a little help.
Add a little more mozzarella and get your mise en place in place.
Step 2. Add a little more mozzarella and get your mise en place in place.
Bonus points for cooking a frozen pizza on a pizza stone!
Step 3. In she goes! Bonus points for cooking a frozen pizza on a pizza stone!
Chop your arugula while you wait for that nice golden brown - 16 minutes in my oven.
Step 4. Chop your arugula while you wait for that nice golden brown – 16 minutes in my oven.
Watch out Portland, I might get myself a food cart and charge your ass $8 for one of these beauties.
Step 6. Buon appetito!
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1 Comment

  1. I knew a kid (long time ago) who thought that the $0.60 no-brand pizzas at the local store were fantastic. We’d have a big game night and he’d bring a dozen and eat them all in a few hours.

    Then I found out that his family was of a hyper-strict religious group and he was allowed no food other than what they grew in their backyard and no money. He’d clean teacher’s chalk boards for a dime and splurge on the weekends.

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